last night, i went for drinks with an intriguing fellow. our personality types came up, and i mentioned that i don’t really know what mine is because parts of it changes regularly. today, i’m a enfj. i can’t remember if this was different from my last one, but i’ve gone through the profile and bolded everything that i feel is particularly true about myself.

For ENFPs nothing occurs which does not have some significance, and they have an uncanny sense of the motivations of others. This gives them a talent for seeing life as an exciting drama, pregnant with possibilities for both good and evil. This type is found in only about 5 percent of the general population, but they have great influence because of their extraordinary impact on others. ENFPs strive toward the authentic, even when acting spontaneously, and this is usually communicated nonverbally to others, who find this characteristic attractive. ENFPs, however, find their own efforts of authenticity and spontaneity always lacking, and tend to heap coals of fire on themselves, always berating themselves for being so conscious of self.

ENFPs consider intense emotional experiences vital; when they have these, however, they are made uneasy by a sense of being there but with a part of themselves split off. They strive for congruency, but always see themselves in some danger of losing touch with their real feelings, which ENFPs possess in a wide range and variety.

ENFPs exercise a continuous scanning of the external environment, and nothing out of the ordinary is likely to escape their attention. They are keen and penetrating observers and are capable of intense concentration on another individual while aware of what is going on about them. Their attention is never passive or casual, never wandering, but always directed. At times, ENFPs find themselves interpreting events in terms of another’s “hidden motive,” giving special meaning to words or actions. This interpretation tends to be negative and, more often than not, inaccurately negative. In the process, an ENFP may find that he or she has introduced an unnecessary, toxic element into the relationship. While ENFPs are brilliantly perceptive, they can make serious mistakes in judgment, which works to their discomfort. These mistakes derive from their tendency to focus on data which confirm their own biases. They may be absolutely correct in their perceptions but wrong in their conclusions.

Because they tend to be hypersensitive and hyper-alert, they may suffer from muscle tension. They live in readiness for emergencies; because they have this facility, they assume this is true for others. They can become bored rather quickly with both situations and people, and resist repeating experiences. They enjoy the process of creating something-an idea or a project-but are not as interested in the follow-through. They are typically enthusiastic, and this is contagious. People get caught up and entranced by an ENFP. Yet this type is marked with a fierce independence, repudiating any kind of subordination, either in themselves or in others in relation to them. They do tend to attribute more power to authority figures than is there and give over to these figures an ability to “see through” them-which also is not apt to be there. While ENFPs resist the notion of others becoming dependent or having power over them, their charisma draws followers who wish to be shown the way. ENFPs constantly find themselves surrounded by others who look toward the ENFP for wisdom, inspiration, courage, leadership, and so on-an expectancy which, at times, weighs rather heavily on an ENFP.

ENFPs are characteristically optimistic and are surprised when people or events do not turn out as anticipated. Often their confidence in the innate goodness of fate and human nature is a self-fulling prophecy.

in a very frank conversation with paul about 8 months ago over martini’s at martini’s on broadway and main, with respect to our beliefs in destiny and fate, i proclaimed (a bit drunkenly) that i believe in self-fulfilling prophecies - we have a hand in everything that happens but we’re never alone in it.

I keep going back to this blurb that a friend wrote about growing up with online social media sites:

we’re a bunch of vain, self-obsessed pseudo-intellectuals who are more interested in self-analysis than anything else. and i think a big part of why we throw so much of our lives on the internet is to gain insight from other people. maybe they can figure us out, if we can’t.

The glory of three weeks without work or school or anything means I’ve had a lot of time to reflect on my life and goals, on my relationships with others and…myself. myself myself myself. it’s been a very self-absorbed three weeks.
Between these reflections, watching Garden State alone on my couch, and some rather interesting conversations with close friends, I’ve decided that I need to take the time to be more honest with myself. Emotionally honest. So, I’ve slapped my life back onto the internet (if not vaguely, with pseudonyms and ambiguous addresses) and maybe it’ll help with my self-analysis. Cos, let’s face it. Even though I’ve publicized myself online in relative moderation in the last several years (living far too much in the real world), I belong on here just like she does. Maybe not EXACTLY like she does, but maybe being honest with the world in relative anonymity will help me be honest with myself. And maybe I need to be comfortable with that.